Monday Morning Stories With Mookie - Episode 36

The Time Mookie Visited The Resident Hall Coordinator

During my senior year of college I had a had a whole dorm room to myself.  While "dorm living" definitely has its downsides, there are some positives if you look hard enough.

• You don't have to worry about monthly rent/utilities 
• Your breakfast/lunch/dinner is a short walk away in the cafeteria 
• You don't have to clean the bathroom.

The classy multi-sink/shower/toilet dorm bathroom.

Then there is that list of negatives of living in the dorms that is never ending.  The biggest negative of course is that.....YOU HAVE TO FOLLOW THE RULES.

The fact I had my own room to myself definitely made the "negatives" not seem as bad as they were, but that whole "rules" thing liked to get up in my business from time to time.  This story is about one of those times.

Several of my friends and neighbors had "lady friends" that resided in the female dorm across the quad, and one particular night my neighbor invited me to go over there with them.  I was studying, and wearing my best "pajama pants," t-shirt, and sandals, so I said "sure why not."

We go over there and even before the door opens, you can hear these chicks being stupid and loud.  The door opens and the lot of them are inebriated, and as luck would have it - all of them are under 21.  I wasn't up for the "stupid and loud" shenanigans they were involved in and should have turned around and went home,  but I begrudgingly stayed.    There were probably 5 of us guys, and because two of us were over 21, they immediately they start lobbying us to go buy them alcohol.  1.  No.  2.  My car is in B.F.E....so No.  And 3. No.

It was after 10pm and "quiet hours" were definitely in effect by this point, so these broads were just asking for trouble being as loud as they were.  Then they told us that they had already been warned by the R.A. on duty about their loudness prior to our arrival, so yeah... great.  You can guess what happened next....less than ten minutes goes by and there is a "knock-knock-knock" noise on the door.

A hush went over the room and one of the chicks opened the door.  Standing outside were a pair of Public Safety officers.  Great!  The campus police are here. Wonderful.

They enter the room, quickly surmise that a number of people are under the influence of adult beverages, and begin to interrogate everyone.  They immediately start accusing everyone of underage drinking, and say they are going "write up" everyone who is not of legal age.  They demand that everyone should get out some sort of identification, and are trying to be all authoritative.  One of them gets to me and says "Let's see your ID."  I'm like "I don't have it."  Again he demands to see my ID.  I say "Look at me!  I'm wearing pajama pants."  This just frustrates the officer to no end, and he demands that I tell him my name and age, or I'm "going to be sorry."  So I tell him my name and say I am 21.  "Of course you are." He says in a mocking tone.  I tell him that I don't appreciate his attitude, and that I am 21, and I have done nothing wrong here.  I tell him that he is more than welcome to go back to my dorm with me and see my ID there.  He looks me over, and says "uhh huhh."  He asks for my address, so I tell him where I live on campus.  As it is apparent most of us guys are from the same dorm (and had no ID), he tells us that they will be reporting the incident to the University.  "Great." I thought..  Hopefully they will see I'm 21, and leave me alone.

After they had collected everyone's names/addresses, they broke up the party and sent us home.  It was a stupid thing, and figured I'd never hear anything further about it.  However...

A few days later I get a call from some chick identifying herself as the "Hageman Hall Resident Coordinator."  Uhh ok.  She says she would like to speak with me and discuss the "incident" that occurred during a recent evening in her hall.  I politely asked if we could just discuss it over the phone, as I seriously didn't do anything wrong.  She then flatly and sternly said "I need to meet with you tomorrow regarding this incident.  Is 8:30AM Ok?"  "I guess." I said with a puzzled tone.  She said "Thank you.  Please come to my office in the main lobby of Hageman at that time."  Ok.  Awesome.

So I roll out of bed at 8:25AM, and make my way over to the Hageman Hall Resident Coordinator's office for our "meeting."  This means I was dressed in gym shorts, a sweatshirt, a hat, and I did NOT brush my teeth.  I arrive at 8:30 on the nose, and she thanks me for coming.  We sit down, and she begins explaining that she understands that I am 21 years of age, and allowed to have/consume alcohol, so "legally" I did nothing wrong in that aspect.  I smile and nod agreeingly.  She then continues and states that I made a "poor decision" by placing myself in that situation.  When I asked "how so?" She tells me that by simply being present at this gathering, I "could have" been held responsible for the alcohol that was consumed by those under the legal age.

I tell her I see what point she is trying to make, but asked if she understood the facts of the entire situation.  She then asked for my "side" of the story, so I stated the facts:
     -I was in my room studying/watching TV (not drinking) when I was invited to the room.
     -I did not know they were drinking prior to arrival.
     -They were already drunk when I got there.
     - They were out of alcohol prior to my arrival, so I never even saw them consume alcohol.
     -They were out of alcohol and even asked me if I would buy them some, and I told them "no."
     -Public Safety showed up because the girls were loud and were previously warned by the RA.

I told her that if I was going to be "responsible" for anything, it was for not buying them more alcohol like they wanted me to.  I said I didn't know where they got the original "stash," and I'm sure I would have numerous witnesses that will state I had nothing to do with providing it to them.  Then I said, "Therefore, I cannot be held responsible for their actions prior to my arrival at the room, and did nothing to contribute to their delinquency while I was there."

She immediately sees my point, but is still trying to make me feel bad for whatever happened.  She gives me the "choices I make can greatly affect my life in the future" speech, and I annoyingly sit through it so she can say she gave me some much needed advisement.  "Obviously you recognized the issue in the situation, and yet you still placed yourself in the situation....."  Phhfff.

We cordially concluded the meeting, and I went back to my room and went back to bed.

A few weeks later I stopped at my mailbox to get my mail, and found a letter from the "Hageman Hall Resident Coordinator."  "This ought to be good."  I opened it, and this is what I found:

The real letter.  Names and dates are partially obscured 

Do you like that?  First of all, nice typos.  Secondly, right off the top she says I was drinking when I told her I wasn't (possibly another typo).  And thirdly, did you just seriously write this nonsense?  She never told me "what" policies I may have violated in terms of Residence, University or State.  If there was a crime here, it was that the gathering was lame, and the grammar and substance of this letter is horrible.

Needless to say, I did not hear another word of this issue again and I graduated in the spring with no further repercussions.

In reading this letter now, I have to say that the personal highlight for me is the sentence that reads:
 "During our discussion, my impression was that you do not feel this incident was important or significant."

After reading that now, it makes me feel good that the meeting was not a total waste of time as I had previously thought.  The whole time she was giving me the riot act, I had concern that she was not hearing my point of view.  As it turns out, my point of view came across loud and clear.

That's good, because I hate it when people don't realize I don't give a shit.


UNI FOOTBALL RULES!!

(Names altered to protect the guilty/innocent)

Miss a previous Episode?  Click HERE!