Monday Morning Stories With Mookie - Episode 51

The Time Mookie And The Gang Went And Saw The Movie "Showgirls"

Jessie Spano rocking it 80's style

Remember the movie "Showgirls?"  This was the GAWWD-AWFUL movie that starred none-other than Elizabeth Berkley....AKA Jessie Spano on TV's "Saved By The Bell."  

While Berkley served as decent eye candy on that show, she could not hold a candle to the queen of that show - Tiffani-Amber Thiessen.  Unfortunately for my perversions, Tiff apparently has more of a picky eye when it comes to choosing movie roles.

The story about why Berkely chose this role was that she wanted to break out of the squeaky clean "Jessie Spano" image she portrayed on that show.  Needless to say, we wanted to see her breakout of this clean image as well.

A fun fact: The movie "Showgirls" was the 1st movie with an NC-17 rating to have a wide theater release.  As most theaters look at the NC-17 rating as a curse, there were very few theaters that were even going to carry the film.  HOWEVER!  Since we were in a college town, the local theater was good enough to show the movie for a particular week.  Phone calls were made, and group of us made plans to take in showing of the Jessie Spano sex flick together at everyone's earliest convenience.  This group included Rick(*), Junior(*), Kreeg(*), Megan(*), and myself.

While I will not sit here and review the movie for you, I will mention 3 highlights to the entire film.

Showgirls movie poster

1.  The first time you see Berkley totally naked, it is quite a moment.  It is a moment of excitement, disappointment, and then hilarity.  This is how the experience goes -
Excitement - Whoa!  She's naked!  Jessie Spano is NAKED!  Wow!
Disappointment - Once the novelty of her being naked wears off, you quickly realize she is more attractive WITH CLOTHING.  To be honest, she doesn't have a remarkable figure.
Hilarity - The first time you see her naked she is giving some dude a lap dance, and it is just funny.  I don't know why, but it is.  Should it be?  No.

2.  The pool scene where she totally bangs Kyle MacLachlan is the most hilariously epic sex scene in a movie ever.  It was so great - Rick yelled out "YES!!" during this particular scene and the audience laughed their asses off.  It was a thrashing splash-fest of awesomeness.

3.  Gina Gershon gets pushed down a huge flight of stairs by Berkely and breaks her pelvis. This of course results in Berkley getting the lead spot and becoming the new star in their topless show at the Stardust.

Other than that, its just a lot of words and random topless nudity.  Half-way through the film, any excitement towards the gratuitous nudity will have worn off as most of the actresses in the film are topless during the dance numbers.  The roughest part of the film is where there is violent scene between one of the female dancers and a few guys that is hard to watch.  However, it is redeemed by Berkley's character kicking the living hell out of the guy later in the film.

Eventually, Berkley's character makes up with Gershon's character, they briefly make out, and then Berkley leaves Las Vegas as the movie ends in a less-than-spectacular fashion.  That's it.

As we all left the theater, we were all in agreement that Showgirls was a horrible film. That is, except for Kreeg.  He actually said the words "I don't know guys, I thought it was pretty good."  To this day (as far as I know), he still thinks Showgirls was a good movie.

I'm so excited!  I'm so excited! I'm...so...SCARED!

One could argue the movie was "so bad, it was good" I suppose, but truthfully...its bad.  One thing is for certain though:  It does not come close to topping the "Jessie taking amphetamines" episode of Saved By The Bell.  That could never ever be topped by anything.  Unless of course Tiffani-Amber Thiessen has a change of heart and does an epic NC-17 flick.  That would be like f'n Christmas if that happened.

This movie also created an endless joke between my wife and I.  There used to be an actual "show" at the Stardust in Las Vegas called "Enter the Night."  I always joked that the signs advertising it should say "Enter the Night - Starring Jessie Spano as 'The Night.'"

But back to the movie - while many would say the redeeming factor to the entire movie was seeing Berkley totally naked, I have to go out on a limb and personally say that nothing topped Rick yelling out an excited "YES!!" during the sex scene.  THAT made the movie.  It's too bad no one else had that experience other than the approximately 20 people in that theater that night, otherwise Showgirls could have made a lot more money.

(*) - Names changed to protect the guilty/innocent

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